I've always struggled with self confidence issues (but who hasn't at one point or another??). I never really thought of it as a big deal because it is so often joked about in our society, and seems as though everyone has this issue; but it is a big deal.
We like to throw around phrases like "your confidence should come from the Lord" or Psalm 139 about us being "fearfully and wonderfully made" but what does it really mean to be confident in and because of the Lord? This year has been a bit of a rollercoaster for me, but the one good thing that has come of it has been my growth. He has taken every obstacle and made me stronger, more confident, and allowed me to love others well. And yet sometimes I still doubt my worth and beauty... why?
I think for most of my life I have looked in all the wrong places for affirmation. Whether it was boys or social media I have always found myself needing or wanting someone to tell me I am beautiful, or see my hard work. But none of those things were truly filling.
I looked to the word this morning to remind myself to whom I belong, and what He thinks of me:
I love nature. I love looking at it, I love being in it, and I love the fact that it reminds me of God's goodness, power, and grace. It is so beautiful because He created it. I say these things, and forget sometimes that God created ME too. Not only did He just create me, but He created me in His image and said that I was good (Genesis 1:27-31)! All throughout scripture it talks about how He sees us, how beautiful He thinks we are. I am beautiful because He says I am!
Really all of Psalm 139 is so good, but the common scripture we use is verse 14; "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Do my actions and words align with being wonderfully made?..
We are created with intention.
God only makes good things, and everything He created is designed to give God glory! Our society is always in this exhausting comparison game, but that's not how we were designed. The sun doesn't compete with the moon; it rises and sets shining as bright as it can, being the best sun that it can be. It's a silly analogy, but what if YOU stopped comparing, and rather spent your days shining as bright as you can for the Lord? You can only live in the fullness of who He created you to be, so why are we trying to be anyone else?
1 Peter 3:4 "Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's eyes is very precious." This is one of my favorite verses because especially being in college, it can be difficult to compete so-to-speak, and think of myself as less than with all of the big personalities around me. However my gentleness and quietness is precious in God's eyes. I am precious in His eyes.
It has taken me way too long to understand what it means to have my confidence stem from the Lord, and I am sure it is something that I will constantly have to be reminded of. Luckily we are reminded time and time again throughout scripture, the whole book is practically about how much He loves and adores us despite our stupidity. How cool is it that we have a creator that looks at us the way I look at puppies?
YOU are beautiful, created for a purpose, and you are HIS!