I was recently told that I needed to start blogging again.
It's hard when the busyness never seems to end, and I've been thinking that being busy has been my greatest adversary when it comes to my relationship with Yahweh. Luckily with knowing that, it's pretty easy to spot early and have a "come to Jesus talk" so to speak in order to get back on track, AND is the greatest reminder of the importance of the given rest, and the eternal rest to come.
I've had a lot of rather large changes this year; moving from a town that I loved, leaving a job that I really enjoyed, loosing friends, getting married, returning to an old job with lots of changes, and being close to my family and best friend. In other words, I've experienced a lot of ups and downs.
Being married has been the greatest blessing that I've ever had, and is something that I truly and deeply cherish. It has been nothing short of pure bliss, and everything I could have dreamed of and more. My husband is wonderful and I strive to be more like him! Leaving Stephenville was hard for the both of us, but I think I may have taken it a little harder. The 'Ville had been my home for the past three years; it's where I grew, where I learned, where I gained confidence in myself and my faith. I made so many friends, fell in love with Laramie, and the memories are countless. But if there is anything I've learned while being there, it's that we tend to outgrow people, and maybe that goes for places as well. The hardest yet most beautiful part of our time in Stephenville was choosing, taking a leap of faith, to wholeheartedly follow all that Yahweh asks of us. If I wouldn't have had Laramie, it would have been much harder. Going against the grain is not usually taken well by others; but the depth of life found in going against the grain is far greater than anything I've experienced.
After a spring a break mission trip, the truth really began to set in… our lives were about to look a lot different.
We quietly walked away, or tried to quietly disassociate, from our norm of being heavily involved in on our on-campus ministry. In an attempt to remain friendships, we noticed it becoming increasingly difficult. Though nothing we were doing really had any effect on anyone other than the fact that there were two less bodies at a weekly worship night; people started to treat us like we had lost our minds or that we had fallen into some kind of sin; which couldn’t have been farther from the truth. The truth was that we were taking strides in our relationship with Yah, while our friends were comfortable where they were at; in our growing faith, they chose to stunt growing our friendships. In these times we longed for heaven, for that eternal rest, and lack of relational strife. However it is not all for not; I accredit a lot of my growth in depth to the individual that discipled me. She encouraged me to seek first the kingdom despite the cost, to read daily, and to make it my own, to take ownership of my faith. It was in the low moments, a large one being the spring break mission trip, that this whole thing… the huge narrative that were a part of, became so real.
With us stepping out in faith, living how Yah asks us; we brought along a few friends and family. Laramie's brother and his girlfriend. To me, that was the most encouraging thing, seeing them find the depth and want more of it; finding the beauty in being set apart.
In these times I really latched on to a scripture in Exodus where Yahweh is talking to Moses at the burning bush, and asks him; "who made mans mouth?" Moses was doubting Yah's plan for him because of insecurities on his own end, and the fear of what others may think; while Yah basically tells him he is silly for thinking so because He created Moses. It is also another instance where Yahweh met someone where they were at. He came down to Moses' level, and made another way.
The days that were hard, the conversations that were hard, and the feelings that were hard to deal with when it came to my friends, I always thought back on this. It's beautiful. When it comes to doing what Yah asks, keeping His statues, having the hard conversation; I remind myself of whom made mans' mouth.
The other night we sat out to watch the sunset, and ended up watching a storm pass overhead; and I couldn’t help but think of this year. Laramie and I have sat in growing admiration of Yahweh, of His statues, His laws, His commands, and His love for us; as the storm passes in front of us. Yahweh has never failed to protect us, and to encourage us with His glory!