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1/9/21

My heart is going through a lot of hurt right now, as the boy I thought I was meant to be with... wasn’t. And this may sound silly and high school girl-ish, but it doesn’t change the fact that I got my heart broken.


I have been surrounded by my friends and family the past few weeks, so I have not really been alone until now. I had to deal with some emotions that for lack of a better word, really sucked. But I know that He is with me.

Despite it all though, I am learning my worth, my significance, my beauty, and my whole self is not defined by the people of this world, but rather the one whom created it.


I know how deeply I am loved by God, and I know that He is working on someone right now, perfect for me. I am in a season of trusting and waiting, and let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart.

As any girl, I have dreamed of meeting my forever guy, planning a wedding, and having a beautiful life with someone. I still want these things, but I want them in God's will, in His plans, not my own. I am determined to live out His ways, His truth, and the call that He has for my life. "When the calling of God is scary, we lead by remembering that Jesus did not come to make us safe, but to make us brave" (Made For These Times).


The ultimate tool that I have right now in defeating this sadness and heartbreak, is allowing God's power to flow through me. To lean on Him. Even though it is frustrating and a little defeating that I can only see a few feet in front of me at the moment... I know that He has a great plan for my life. All I can do is cling to His light, and trust that one day it will all make sense.


I read something a few weeks ago about the need for His light... if we could see everything clearly, there would be no need for His lantern. We go through the fog, and realize how big our God is. Life without fog.. would be boring.


I can do all things because I am loved. Without Him... who am I?


God works through ordinary people to combat evil, so I think being ordinary is what makes me, and my words, powerful.


In this season of waiting, I will fearlessly be pursuing Him, letting go and letting God do His thing. Growing in confidence, love, and faith. Not to say that it won't come with struggles.. its hard waiting for things to fall into place, wondering whether or not you're doing the right thing; but I am seeking His will.


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