I've really felt it on my heart to tell my story. How I got to be where I am today.
...not that anyone really other than my family reads these, but in the off chance that I can inspire someone else, I want to tell it.
First of all, I would not be HALF the person I am today without my parents.
When I was I in high school, I hit a rough patch in my life; and though they had every right to be angry with me, they showed me nothing but love and compassion.
They have shown my brothers and I what it looks like to walk the tightrope between work and family needs, which requires a strong spiritual fortitude. They have given an immense amount of time, commitment, and dedication to me that I can never repay them for.
I don't have some crazy, huge life altering event that brought me to Jesus. I grew up in a home that knew what it meant to follow Him, and I knew that I wanted that too.
I was baptized when I was 10... a little young I know, but I knew that I wanted to be in His Kingdom. It was the perfect day, though on the outside seems like it would be the most imperfect day. After church everyone came to our house, where my dad baptized me in our pool, in the rain. I love this story because I remember my dad telling me that the day I was born, it rained, and always joked that I 'broke the drought.' Funny on the day that I was born again, so to speak, it also rained.
In high school, I got caught up in some drama, and rebelliousness. For a time, I was mad at the world, and felt like everything was against me.
This lasted way longer than it should have, and I'll never forget the day it all changed for me. I was in the car with my nana, and she basically told me to get over myself. I was angry at first, but I think just because I knew she was right.
I didn't really say much to her. I went straight to my room and cried, and for the first time in what had been a long time, I opened my Bible and prayed.
All of the anger, bitterness, and frustrations came out in that prayer. I asked God to help me mend relationships that I thought were long gone, and that He would mend my heart.
I've never told my nana this story, but that day she impacted my story.
Things started to get better after this, as I was seeking God more than I ever had. I decided to try new things, and got more involved in school. Senior year I basically did anything and everything that I could. I was much happier than I had been in a long time, but deep down I knew I still had a long way to go. Though on the outside I looked as if things were good... I wasn't.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVED high school, but there was a lot of it that wasn't pretty.
I wanted so desperately for my parents to be proud of me, and may have overindulged a little with all of my endeavors. Again, not that I didn't love it all because I definitely did, but I don't really do anything lightly. In everything, I kind of go head first, full speed, and give it 110%. Which in some ways is good, but most of the time leaves me burnt out by the end of the day, leaving me with less and less time spent with God.
I eventually got into a relationship that I knew wasn't right from the start. But for whatever reason couldn't let go. I have this innate need to 'fix' people; however, I've come to realize there is only one person that can do that, and my job is only to point them to Him. I was running from what God wanted me to do, and I knew it. I would try to seek reassurance from others, and found my college friends pushing me to do the right thing. Eventually I broke things off, and things started to really change.
It's silly to me, that it has taken a few broken hearts to change mine. With each one, I have grown so much. This latest one really making me on fire for God. Though it was tough, I know God was protecting me from something, whatever that may be. Kind of a blessing in disguise, turning me towards Him, and allowing me to understand what it really means to rest in Him.
People have told me all my life that my confidence should come from Him, and to lay my anxieties at His feet... I never fully understood that, until now. It is a beautiful feeling, being in His comfort, satisfied in Him, and having my confidence stem from Him.
I've said this a number of times, but my relationship with Christ has really flourished since I've been in school. I've learned what it means to have a relationship with God and seek His Kingdom. All of the obstacles I've faced may seem small on the outside, but they were once big to me. These difficulties have only shown me that He is present.
I've learned to listen to His voice, and not sit in the boat when He is calling me to walk on water.
I believe our testimonies are a display of His goodness. ...So how does your story reflect Him?